Well I have another blog. You can view it here. My other blog is about the adventures my husband and I go on throughout our lives as a married couple. It's very happy and "picturey". While my life is happy, there are aspects of it that are not. So I felt like I needed to create a blog for that. Though, this blog will only be shown to certain people. I am an open person, but I want to treat this blog more like a diary. And you wouldn't share your diary with everyone would you?
I will start with what I know. And this is where I know it all started...
Up until the moment that I got the call that my husband had been shot and was in critical condition in the most dangerous part of Afghanistan, my life had been pretty care free. My parents never divorced. Almost happened, but it never did. And I am glad for that. I am one of the only people I know that didn't live in a broken home, and that helped shape me into the person I am today. Anyway, I was a B sometimes C student, but overall, I liked school and loved my friends. I played sports all my life and have lived in Orange County forever. I babysat the neighbors kids until I became a server at a 40's style diner. I dated a little bit in college, and then at some point, I met the man that I would eventually be married to. We were like magnets. Nothing could keep us apart. It doesn't matter what the universe did to us, we knew we would always be together. The first day I met him, I knew.
We got married, and we had a WONDERFUL first year of marriage. We were just two innocent kids with our whole lives in front of us. In May 2009, my Aaron left for Afghanistan. On September 25th, 2009 just three weeks after our one year wedding anniversary, I got a call at 5 am from the Marine Corps Headquarters stating that Aaron had been shot by the enemy. The bullet went through the back of his left arm, in and out of his left lung and stopped in his chest cavity surrounded by his major arteries. His left lung had collapsed, and was barely alive. I cannot fully describe the sheer terror and sadness that enveloped me at that moment. All I could do was drop to the floor and cry. My world came crashing down and all I could do was wait for more information. He was an entire world away from me, and there was nothing I could do. He was stable enough a few hours later to call me. He sounded so weak on the phone. And that is a weird phenomenon. This is a man, a strong man who takes care of me and is there for me at the drop of a dime. He would do and has done anything and everything for me. He is a leader among his peers and a loving/caring person at home. So to hear the strain in his voice was hard. But I was reassured. He was going to be ok. Still, that was the hardest and worst day of my life. I wanted to crumble, yet, I had to be strong for everyone else-my family and Aaron's family. I was the point of contact for basically everyone. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep until everything was over, but I guess God had other plans. The next week was hard. I actually mustered up the courage to go into work because I knew I would be taking some time off. But that week was quite literally the longest week of my life. Health wise, Aaron was up and down. One day he would be fine, the next day I find out his chest tube had been accidentally pulled out or kinked or the box itself had been knocked over all by incompetent nurses and doctors. He flew to Germany, which was a big feat for someone who was in such critical condition. But I was relieved knowing that he was no longer in a dangerous war zone.
Finally, Friday arrived and I was all packed and ready to go to Bethesda, Maryland where Aaron would be flying into. I was SOOOOOOOO excited. I hadn't seen Aaron in almost four and a half months. But then on the way to the airport, I got a call that Aaron had spiked a fever and was not to fly that day. I was more pissed than anything. The lady on the phone said they would change my flight to sunday, which is when he would now be flying out. And I put my foot down and said, "no, I'm flying today". I didn't care if Aaron wasn't going to be there for another 2 days, I wanted to already be there when he arrived. Then as I was waiting to board, I got a call from Aaron. I asked him how his fever was and he said, "what fever?" I told him what they told me and he said that he was on the plane ready to go and someone accidentally unkinked his chest tube, thus, making air escape out of his lungs which makes it collapse again. That means, SOME ASSHOLE TRIED TO COVER THEIR ASS BY LYING AND STATING THAT HE SPIKED A FEVER. So he couldn't fly that day because his lung was in an unstable condition again.
Well, I got on the flight and flew to Bethesda to wait for him to get there on Sunday. I met up with my mother-in-law and my father-in-law at the hotel we were staying at on the base in bethesda where Aaron's hospital would be. We decided that we shouldn't just sit around all day (saturday) because that would have made the wait worse, so we toured D.C. It was nice, but it would have been nicer if Aaron was touring it with us. That was kind of hard. I felt a little guilty that he was lying in a hospital bed and I was taking a leisurely stroll through Washington D.C.
Aaron's dad, Ralf, told us that he wanted to decorate the room for when Aaron got there, and he wanted to film everything. I was a little unsure of this, and didn't really agree that that was what we should be doing. This was not a celebration, and I really didn't want it to be documented on film. It's not really anything that I would want to watch over again in 30 years. The memories are vivid enough. I don't need film to remind me of how he looked when I first walked into that room and saw his face for the first time. I remember. I decided that I would tell Aaron his dad's plans the next time he called. Aaron gave me a resounding NO. No to all of it. So I had to stick up for my husband. First Aaron's mom, Jan, gave Ralf a call to tell him what Aaron wanted. He was very defensive and basically said he was doing it. So I called him and told him that he was not to do any of it because that is what Aaron wanted. This was about Aaron, not Ralf. I also dropped the bomb on him that I wanted to go into the room first and be with him a few minutes before both Ralf and Jan came it. He became even more hostile and said, "whatever! You do what you want!" That kind of set the tone between Ralf and I. And it's still that way. He's a stubborn man, and if he wants to live that way, then be my guest.
When Sunday finally rolled around, we were so ready to see Aaron. The marines that were helping us told us they would call when he was here. They gave us the option to come see him as he was being unloaded from the ambulance. Jan and I opted out of that. Just not something that I wanted to see. Too many people around, I guess. I just wanted him to myself. Ralf went, as you may have guessed. And he filmed it. He even got to ride the elevator up to Aaron's room in the ICU. It didn't bother me at first that he did that. It actually didn't bother me up until a month or so ago. I wanted to see him first. I am his wife! A son leaves his mother and fathers house to be married, and I feel that that was/is my right to have seen him first. I am his number one as he is mine. But Ralf is a selfish man. That's all I have to say about that.
Then, several hours later, I FINALLY got to see my husband. Since he had come back from a foreign country and may have carried over disease, we had to wear ugly yellow hospital gowns and gloves. So it covered up my ultra cute outfit. But I showed him anyways. AND I took off those stupid gloves. I didn't care. I just wanted to feel his hand in mine. Actually, I fought with the nurses all week about those dumb gloves and gowns. I refused to wear them. I guess since the situation was so out of my control, that was the only thing I COULD control. So I was not about to conform to some policy that covered up my cute outfits that I wore for my husband.
Anyway, I stayed strong. I didn't cry. Both Aaron and I were surprised at that. If you know me, then you know that I cry a lot. But Aaron finds it endearing. Aaron was moved out of the ICU the next day and was taken to a more permanent room in a different ward. The Surgical Ward I believe. We all spent the day with Aaron. Just chatting. It wasn't until after Jan and Ralf left for the night that I finally cried into Aaron's shoulder. The ICU wasn't private. The room was wide open to a plethora of nurses and doctors. This new room was quite and closed and it was just us. So I finally broke down. I have cried in front of and on Aaron dozens of times, but I will never forget that cry. I had been his rock all week, and when I was finally able to be alone with MY rock, I was able to be the weak one for a little bit. I let it all out. I think he was a little taken aback because it came on so suddenly.
All week, Aaron continued to get stronger. He started walking little by little, and we even took a couple little trips outside of the hospital and into the city towards the end of his stay in the hospital. His breathing was getting much better too. I took care of him in any way that I could. Water runs, food runs, movie runs. Just tried to make him laugh and to keep him comfy because there wasn't much I could do, medically speaking. There was one day when I was leaving his room to get something, and I, for once, had a gown on. And before I left, I ripped the gown off very dramatically and gave my best Hulk impression, "YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!!" Aaron laughed so hard, and watching him laugh and hearing his laugh made my heart sing. There are so many things now that I don't take for granted; Aaron's laugh being one of them.
Aaron received many visitors. From high ranking service members from all different branches of the US military to old war vets to various different organizations. Mid-week, he received his Purple Heart from the Commandant of the Marine Corps. That was a very special day. We even got famous visitors! Trace Adkins, the bad guy in Terminator 2, and Miss America all visited together. That was pretty neat. Though, I had absolutely NO idea who any of them were, Aaron did and he was smiling and laughing and that's all I cared about. Towards the end of the week, Aaron had received so many visitors, he was a little burnt out. He explained to his dad that he did not want him telling the story to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that walked in the room. Long story short, the next visitor that came in, Ralf told the story, and him and Aaron got into an argument over it. The next day, Ralf left. REALLY mature. The entire week Ralf was complaining about how much money he was missing out on by skipping work, and that his back hurt. So he ended up seeing a physical therapist at the hospital there. But from my point of view, SUCK IT UP. STOP BEING A LITTLE BABY AND BE AN ADULT. This is about AARON.
A few days later, after both Ralf and Jan had left, Aaron was released from the hospital. He was not cleared to fly so we drove 9 hours to Indiana, where Aaron is from, in a pretty nice rental car. You would think that being cooped up in a small car with only one other person would be hell, but to us, it was bliss. We talked, sang, laughed. We saw the beautiful mountains and trees as the leaves were turing for fall. We stopped after about 6 or 7 hours to stay in the grossest motel I have ever seen. But when you have been away from someone for so long, a dirty motel turns into a five star hotel. It was the first night we had spent together in a long long time. Sometimes I think we take for granted the fact that we get to sleep with our significant other in the same bed every night, let alone be in the same state or even county as them. I know that that is something I NEVER take for granted. When I say my prayers at night, I thank the Lord that he is lying right next to me.
Anyway, we spent the next two weeks in Indiana so that Aaron could see his family and friends. To say that we relaxed would be a lie. It was hard on both of us to have non stop company. To be quite honest, I don't really remember those two weeks. It was a blur. I just remember there being a lot of people around, and that I just wanted the noise to stop. I wanted to forget. I wanted to go home, and I wanted to take Aaron with me. Aaron had to do a few outpatient visits to the nearby VA Hospital, and then they cleared him to fly. So after two weeks was over, we were finally on our way home to California. My family picked us up from the airport, and the car ride home was full of wonderment and questions and general happiness. Even though it was my own family, I was in need to be home in our apartment. Alone with Aaron. While we were gone, my family had moved us to our new apartment. So we had a whole new place. A nicer bigger place. We had a lot of unpacking to do, but I don't think either of us cared. We were in our home surrounded by our stuff, and it just felt good. We could finally settle down.
But that was the beginning to a private bumpy road ahead. The worst was passed us, yes, but the coming months were hard underneath the happiness of having him home.
No comments:
Post a Comment